We all get angry and that’s totally a normal emotion. Anger comes out irrespective to how much ever we try to tamp down. But when we tend get out of control, then it turns out to be destructive leading to larger problems be it at work or in personal relationship. When we keep thinking again and again our quality of life get destructed as well. the anger comes due to low tolerance, frustration, misunderstanding or when you feel something is not right and you tend to express that in harsh way.
How do I control my anger? Honestly controlling the anger is not going to be easy, until you practice patience, tolerance and indeed understanding the outcome of it. There have been bigger losses in one’s life for reacting and getting angry, for which they regret later. Understand, life is short and try to be as good to people. I won’t say never get angry at all, because sometimes the emotion of anger also makes us feel right. Only thing is don’t let them escalate it in a bigger way. Before that happens talk to each other and try to solve. It’s okay to forgive or let go.
Here is a short story with a moral that’s talks about anger and its impact.
Once there was a monk and he had 3 students. One student asked the monk, “why do people yell at each other in a loud voice when they fight?”. The monk replied, “when 2 persons fight, their hearts are at distance, so don’t want to listen or hear what the other one says and keep yelling at each other in a loud voice to prove their point. Whereas, when someone is in love or affectionate towards each other, though they remain in silence, they can understand each other well without even speaking a word as their hearts are closer irrespective to the distance. It’s always better to show spread love and happiness for leading a happy life.” Then the other student asked, teacher “I have seen few people getting angry and say sorry later once they realize what they did was wrong. Is that okay?” The monk replied the student with a short story.
There was a young boy, who had very low tolerance and keeps getting angry for even silly things. One day the boy’s dad decided to teach him a lesson, so his son will come out of bad temper. One day, the dad called his son and gave him a hammer and bag of nails. He told his son, whenever the boy loses his temper, he needs to hammer the nail in the fence around his house. The son also agreed to his dad. On the first day, his son nailed around 40 nails in the fence.
The days passed by and his son also gradually reduced his temper, feeling it better to control the anger rather than nailing the fence. One fine day he did not get angry at all. That day, the son went to his dad and said, “Dad now I am able to control the temper and I think I am good.” Then the dad held his son’s hand and led him to the fence. He appreciated the son, stating “Son, you have really done well. Now start removing the nails from the fence.” The son started removing the nails. Then the dad pointed out stating, “now that you have removed those nails, can you see the holes are still there. Though you have changed yourself, the fence is not going to be the same again. Remember son, when you say things in anger, they leave a scar and things won’t be the same like the holes in fence. Going forward never let the words in anger.” The son learnt the lesson and promised he will practice to control his anger.
When one gets anger, keep quiet for some time and give it a thought. This way you can control your anger before it controls you and things will turn out to be way better than you think. Also encourage positivity and surround with people who are positive. Your thought process also will change, and you can find happiness rather than regretting for what you did or happened. Once you are able to understand the consequences, I am sure you will try to control anger. Indeed, if some says that’s okay, I am at fault, though in real they are not, this means they value the relationship more than their ego. 😉
